Training our souls

At various times in my life, I have worried about aging. Contemporary culture orients us to see our worth, our value, our meaning, in terms of the things we can do, the pleasures we can pursue, and the power we can wield. This is dangerous; holding these things at the center of our hearts disorients and disorders our souls; instead of worshipping our creator God, we worship power, pleasure, accomplishments, etc. And when our souls are so disordered, the value of a person apart from her accomplishments (or potential for accomplishments) is leeched away.

Sometimes I've been caught up in that kind of thinking to an extent, and wondered why life would be worth living if I become immobile, or bed-ridden, or generally less able than I am now. Or what if even my mind were to degrade, so that I may be mobile, but unable to think clearly or remember?

First, I should pause to note the fantastic arrogance and self-centeredness that underlie such a thought. This is an anxiety available only to someone young who is blessed with mobility and opportunity in life -- worrying about when those will be taken away. Millions of people, young and old, don't have such blessings. But each of us is like Job in her own way. We are all constantly living in the blessings of God, and there is always more that could be taken away. We must be grateful for what God has given us, and be faithful to love him in all circumstances.

My thought for a while has been that if my life is ordered around my purpose as a worshipper of God, then that's something I can do even when I am old and have more limited options. Even then, I can still read scripture and pray. Even then, I can sing in my heart.

But what if my mind is taken as well? This week I was struck by another thought.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

I pray regularly for my son using these words. But all Christians are God's adopted children, our whole lives!

And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. (Mark 10:13-16, ESV)

My soul belongs to God; my soul is like a child. I am to train my soul in the way it should go -- in constant worship, constant exaltation of God above all else. (E.g., see: Colossians 3:17, Philippians 4:4-7, Psalm 19:14, Romans 12:1-2.) And someday, when I lose capacities I enjoy now -- perhaps even my will, my capacity to make choices -- my soul will already have been trained for the long run.